Core Coffee and the Spirit of God

Yesterday in a very small room I had coffee with the Spirit of God and some women I barely know.

Paper plates were loaded with fruit, lemon bread, and the required "Chick-Fil-A@ Chick-n-minis that these gatherings seem to rely on to fuel attendance.  Small talk was taking place as the women sat in hard folding chairs so close that their knees were touching.  The facilitator, ever prompt, began with one single request.  Describe a time when you absolutely know that God showed up.

So much for small talk.  It was as if the door opened and the true guest joined us.

One woman shared about the time she was revived in a hospital bed where her family had gathered, certain that this time she would not pull through. Another shared of her journey through cancer and the devastating new diagnosis.   A third told the story of losing her beloved sister unexpectedly.  Next came the woman whose nine year old daughter suffered a traumatic brain injury and wasn't going to survive, or if she survived, she certainly would never walk or function on her own.  Then came the heart wrenching story told by the tearful mom who quietly recalled the night she had to endure the procedure to free her dead child from her womb.  Woman by woman, the room filled with stories of impossible situations, consequences of unforgiveness, drug abuse, divorce, homelessness, poverty and death.

As I listened to story after story I thought of the despair and brokenness that each lady had experienced. I also came to realize that each lady had also experienced something else. It was all over the faces of the women in that room.  It could be seen in the eyes of the storyteller and of those listening, nodding, slightly smiling, comforting each other.

You might wonder - Were these ladies gathered at a grief counseling meeting? a group therapy session? Perhaps we were gathered at a book signing of the latest self help book on dealing with adversity? Was there a world renown counselor in town sharing his thoughts in a seminar?

There most definitely was a Counselor in the room.  Each story revealed how the Counselor had come alongside in the moment of the deepest despair, the greatest loss and given just what was needed for that time in a broken life of the woman speaking. Each story concluded the same way, revealing the glory of God.  We each experienced something bigger than ourselves when we were broken in despair.  Oh, yes, there was a Counselor in that room.  One we each know intimately.   It was then that I was reminded of the words of Isaiah the prophet in chapter 43.

The next hour was spent in the glorious presence of the Holy Spirit, our Counselor as woman after woman shared about the grace of God.  The grace that He freely lavishes on us for His glory and our good.

I am grateful, thankful and forever changed by the way these unassuming women allowed the Holy Spirit to use them, their brokenness and redemption to His purposes in a small room in Colorado Springs yesterday.   I am humbled that I was called to sit there and witness a glimpse of heaven on earth, behind the torn veil gazing at the Throne.

Make me an instrument

As a young girl I was told that I'd have to pick a confirmation name and a person to represent me on confirmation day. Not knowing why really or what that meant,  as a act of obligation rather than spiritual connectedness, I was told that choosing my Aunt was the right thing to do.  I wasn't particularly fond of this Aunt and I certainly wasn't fond of the name I was strongly encouraged to take.

Francis....seriously?!

So like all the good Catholic girls I put on the white dress, veil, shiny white shoes and best of all, ruffled socks. I confirmed my faith as I was told to do and added the name Francis to my already difficult to pronounce name. That day I became Constance Sue Francis, literally Connie Francis!  The embarrassment I felt of having that silly name lasted awhile.    What that had to do with Jesus I still don't understand.

But Francis slowly was woven into my tapestry.  The thread was small and not a prominent color, but  a subtle, surprising thread woven into me - spiritually.  Not by any planning or conscience thought, but by the Creator who knew from the start that names mean something.

After confirmation I began reading about St. Francis.  I read about a man conflicted with his earthly Father, devoted to doing something of purpose for those less fortunate by earthly standards.  A thread that began being woven in a young girl in a cathedral in Missouri became more an example to me as I read of a life lived in devotion to God.  He has been a part of my spiritual journey, without any real planning, from that point on.

On my wedding day, it was the prayer of St. Francis that my new husband and I decided to read, the life of St. Francis that I find so compelling, and today while walking a very difficult journey with my sister, it is St. Francis that God once again brings to mind.

Make me an instrument, Lord.

I am a planner.  I am most comfortable when I know days or sometimes weeks in advance of an event every last detail.  I currently have four color coded calendars linked to my phone with each appointment filled out to include date, time, location and notes of the appointment.  Even if I have been to the location many times in the past, I still fill in the address on the location line of my calendar entry - each time.  If those calendars change or update too frequently, I become antsy, sometimes agitated.

My husband travels for work. Often. Sometimes I travel along. He books the flights, arranges the hotel and the rental car.  He checks us in for the flights, downloads the boarding pass to my phone, makes dinner reservations, purchases any event tickets and takes care of all the details while we are on the road.

When we first began traveling together I would be concerned about all of these details.  It has taken a few years to realize I don't have to know exactly where we are going, which rental car company is being used, where the hotel is located, who are we meeting for dinner, at what restaurant, what time and what address.

I don't have to know because my husband knows. He knows the plans. I just follow along and reap the benefits of his planning.  I trust that my partner knows the details of the plan.

What if I treated God that way?

In the book of Jeremiah, the scripture tells us that God speaks, God warns, and He declares.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

What if I trusted God's plan so completely that I didn't have to know the details. Instead of asking God for the timing, the location, the particulars, what if I just trusted His plan?

What if I focused on the first three words...."For I know" - God knows. He knows.

I don't have to know because my God knows.  He knows the plans. I just follow along and reap the benefits of his planning.  I trust that my savior knows the details of the plan.

That is enough for me.

And the road is the way He went

I live in the shadow of Pikes Peak.  It looms 14,115 feet above sea level and gains a treacherous 7,615 feet in elevation before reaching the summit.

Access to the summit can be achieved by hiking Barr Trail.  This trail is over 12 miles long and gains 7,615 feet in elevation. Lots of people who live in Colorado tell of their adventures hiking and climbing the mountain. Some folks run up and down the mountain in races, or charity walks, some hike trails with friends or alone, stopping to take pictures along the way. I have never set foot on it, and hope never to do so.  I am NOT one of those people. I don't hike for fun, climb for pleasure or run unless someone is chasing me. 

I've heard mountaineers talk about trailing in pairs or small groups.  Usually these groups are comprised of like minded people, laughing, talking or at times grunting together through the steep, uphills that occur occasionally along the way.

I find myself on a mountain road of sorts.  It's a spiritual journey on a path that is ever changing.  My life, and I'd guess yours also, is rocky and narrow in places, endlessly gaining in elevation that requires concentration and effort. I continue to put one hiking boot in front of the other, sometimes wondering if this rocky, steep place is really the path at all. Then I will come to a spiritual meadow where the breeze of the whisper of God is felt and the beauty of the Aspens are found.  
This morning I am enjoying the view from my kitchen window while studying the Word.  A rest area of sorts before having to climb again.  The road is beckoning. Come climb to a higher spiritual level, walk the rocky path with a friend or two, struggle and grow to know more of the Lord. I am so thankful for the like minded people who will climb with me.

And Jesus said, "Come and Follow me". And the road is the way He went.

(Oswald Chambers)

Unexpected death and the Table

We travel tomorrow to Washington State to gather with family.

A "celebration of Life" always brings relatives from all over the country,  people who have not gathered together in years but have the common bond of ancestors to adhere to when devastation comes.  We are saddened and shocked at the devastating loss of a family member who died much too soon.   Meanwhile, another family that has "adopted" me gathers in Arizona on the very same day for the very same purpose. My heart is broken.  Both families mourn the loss of people in their 40's supposedly in the prime of life, neither with a terminal diagnosis.  They were snatched out of everyday life with no warning. As we are preparing to join with family and weep together, I have been seeking guidance from the only One who has any answers.  Why?  that's always the big question.

I asked the LORD to lead me to a place in Scripture to find comfort.  He led me to Psalm 23. Seriously Psalm 23.  I thought, "Well, that's not terribly original" Everyone knows that Scripture, there must be something more I could be given than the verse on magnets all across the globe!

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will not fear, for you are with me."

Great stuff, really great stuff but a bit overused don't you think God? As I continued my complaint to the Creator regarding His uninspired Scripture choice, He gently led me to verse 5.

"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies."

And that is when the Spirit of the Lord led me anew in Bible study.

Just picture the scene...Jesus, the Christ is setting the table.  The table, a place to sit and rest, to find sustanance and strength. The Comforter is setting a place at the table for me, for you, for all the gathered loved ones.  All the while the enemy swirls around the room.  Jehovah Jireh doesn't make the enemy leave, which He certainly has the power to do - No, he just continues to provide for us a place to sit awhile, to rest with Him in the presence of the enemy.  The enemy is right there watching us sit with our Savior.  Oh, imagine how infuriating that must be for the enemy, to see us sitting awhile with God in the middle of his swirl of death and devastation.

The real question is, will you take a seat at the table?  It is an action, a decision -- that free will thing again.  Will I take a seat and rest with the Savior or will I continue to stand in the swirl the enemy wishes for more destruction.

Give us the strength this weekend to gather and sit together at the LORD's table set for us.

Catching up

Yesterday I sat and listened while a dear friend and I caught up on what has been happening in life. I had not had many conversations with her since she moved away and was truly excited to hear what was happening for her.

As we began our conversation over a meager lunch this precious woman opened up her life anew to me and reminded me of how much her friendship has meant to me along my journey.

In the eyes of the world my friend would be considered very successful, even powerful.  She is an attorney, a loving wife and mother, a leader, high up on the chain of command.  She has traveled the world, serving others all along the way.  She is among the most educated people I've met, or even heard about.  She is humble, soft spoken and God fearing. In the near decade of our friendship I have never heard her begrudge nor disparage any human being.  I truly respect and love her.  I have sought her very wise console on many occasions and she never fails to give Godly loving advice to me.

And She is disappointed in the system of the world.

You see the world says that we are only successful when we chase after the next promotion, the larger paycheck or the bigger residence.  The world says that climbing the ladder over the backs of others is an unfortunate reality - just the way it has to be done.

I was able to sit and listen to this women tell me of her disappointment that her promotion didn't look like it was coming through, how her career was probably not going to culminate in the outcome of her choosing.  She was not complaining, nor groaning.  She was simply telling me the facts as she saw them.   She spent some time over lunch discussing how God had used her disappointment to His glory and her benefit.  She quietly explained how her love of our Savior was growing and without the circumstances that she had suffered in her career and the betrayal of people she would not have been situated in such a divine way to seek God.

and she is resolved.

To continue to grow and learn about the Lord, to continue to serve her children, her husband and her community.

His ways are not my ways -

New Hope Indeed

Today my husband and I were honored to speak to the parents of the teenage girls who reside in the New Hope House in Utah.  There are currently 13 young ladies, ages 12-17 who live there. Their challenges range the gambit of risky behaviors.  The girls who live at this house have stories most people don’t want to hear and certainly stories their parents never thought they would have to tell. These families have been surrounded and nearly destroyed by divorce, death, drugs and all possible ugliness from a broken and depraved world.

Last week was a very very difficult week at our own house, For reasons best left unstated here,  i was not at all sure that we would be able to show up to the event that we’d had on our calendar for months. Parent visitation weekends occur every other month at the group home for girls outside of beautiful Salt Lake City.  These weekends are ripe with a mixture of emotions.  Having lived through the bittersweet ordeal of visiting our own daughter at New Hope House for 18 long months. a flood of emotions threatened to destroy any witness we might provide.  We were struggling ourselves and simply did not have anything to give.

That is exactly when God shows up!

We arrived Friday evening tired, angry and frustrated.  Sitting in the driveway before entering the house, we prayed, well begged really -for God to help us, to give strength where we could find none. We had nothing, absolutely nothing to offer.   The parent BBQ was in full swing as we entered the house.  Parents from all over the Western United States gathered to meet staff, tour the facility and hear progress reports, some for the first time since their daughters had arrived.  Some girls are here because their parents were courageous enough to seek radical help,  others are ordered by Judges, some are here because a teacher or counselor advocated for them. 

All of the families share one thing in common.  Devastating choices.

Some choices were made by the adults, others by the kids but all the families are broken as a result of choices. What is discovered in the journey is that all choices come with consequences.  These families come together to try to tackle those consequences together.  Small clusters of these broken families gathered to begin the process, the long, slow and difficult process of rebuilding relationships.  A Mom and daughter talking at the picnic table, a family in quiet conversation huddled on the patio, a divorced Mom and Dad sitting together with their girl attempting to connect for the first time in years.  Occasionally a tear falls or a laugh breaks through.  In hushed tones the tentative healing begins, slowly, cautiously.  We realized anew that we were called to witness the miracle of restoration.

The Directors of the group house, a Teen Challenge of the Rocky Mountains program are Matt and Heather.  A simple, no-nonsense couple who have lived in the trenches of youth ministry for years.  They are parents, partners and life changers giving their-selves to the hard work of the Savior daily - without ego or adequate compensation, without appreciation or gratitude and without grumbling.  They continue to stay in the dirt with the girls, breathing life where death threatens to destroy.  I am not only speaking spiritual death,  I am speaking about literal death.

I am blessed to be able to hear the reports first hand.  One girl rushes to me in the kitchen to welcome me back greeting me with a huge smile and a hug, another tells me in hushed tones how she invited Jesus into her heart.  As I come back to this place where miracles happen,  I am reminded that joy is found in the small victories. 

I am so thankful that there are people who will step into the trenches and do the work that God calls them to do, without earthly accolades.   I find that I am grateful for the staff at Teen Challenge of the Rocky Mountains New Hope House who have committed their lives to helping girls that many, if not most, would have tossed aside. 

I am confident of this, I have seen the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. (Psalm 27:13)